she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
