My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
