Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
