I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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