We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Sorry about my life...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
