i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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