Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize