pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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