In the future we'll all be gay
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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