Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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