I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize
