i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Can you rollerblade?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.