I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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