I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"