Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
