I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
