I molested 6 butterflies tonight
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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