Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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