help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
