How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
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Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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