I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
