stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
