I love black thongs
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
