there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
don't judge my taste in strippers
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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