I'm lost and stupid without you.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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