Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
