I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
