Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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