whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
