the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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