He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
