Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
