I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
