So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
