I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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