so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You just made me feel so damn special
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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