I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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