i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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