we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You did what with his pubic hair?
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