i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
