did you get engaged???
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
