i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
