Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Rumble strips road head = magical
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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