once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
me + whiskey = a bad person
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
