i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
