What did we do last night that was yellow?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
