Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
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Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
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Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize