Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
