We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
pray to the hookup gods
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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