Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
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I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
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I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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