im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
