I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
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and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
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What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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