wakey wakey hands off snakey
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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