She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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