How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
