We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
