My room smells like vodka and shame
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
