i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
