Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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